the corner office

A UK trader's been playing silly buggers and bought up the whole of Europe's cocoa supply. This is quite a daring move and might be bad news for the price of chocolate in the near future, but if this is of concern to you, or if you're simply trying to lose weight, then I'd urge you to click through that link and take a squizz at the picture at the top of the article. It might, just might help you to make peace with the idea of a reduced chocolate intake.

While European countries debate whether to ban the burka, Iran has been busy too. They recently banned Western hairstyles, including that cherished icon of Western civilization, the mullet.

What I didn't know is that the term 'mullet' was invented by the Beastie Boys, popularised by a song in 1994 called Mullet Head and an article they wrote for their record label's magazine. Here's the song on YouTube (gratis lyrics and mullet pics) and the article.

The challenge now is to find a way to slip that bit of trivia into conversation in the next week.

So today was fun. Mom's in London doing her thing at the British Museum, so it's a boys' day in. Perfect time for Junior to decide to start chomping on a coin, which turns into gag-gag, which turns into Dad's life flashing before his eyes and thinking jesus, I'm going to have to stick my finger down my son's throat, turns immediately into gulp-gulp-gulp then wait-a-minute-I've-just-swallowed-the-damned-coin then waaaaaah then oh-wait-I'm-OK-now and then back to as if nothing had happened.

Dad took Google's advice and took Junior to A&E anyway, where Junior got x-rayed (big-ass coin, in belly) and poked and prodded and sent home, with advice to Parental Units to listen very carefully over the next few days for a coin-on-porcelain 'clink' when it's toilet time.

Kids.

Speaking of the kinds of things that could turn into email signatures, there is some kitchen appliance research going on in the M-P household, and today I found this Amazon review:

After many evenings of research, I choose this cake mixer which happens to be cheaper via Amazon
It sits beautifully in a corner of the Kitchen.
Wife was happy with her present.
KMC560 seems to work beautifully, the wife's cakes have improved.

I would recommend the KMC560

I don't think that wives would find this review as funny as I think most husbands would.

Demon of the day. Charon. Ferryman across the Styx. The name of a big-ass ship in Eve Online, and also as in 'the Cephalopodic Charon, whisking the souls of the dabblers in the occult and the gullible to hell'.

For verily, Paul must be a false prophet; why for sure Jesus can predict the outcome of football matches, but He ain't telling. What's more, it is not the Lord's style to have fun with humanity, not least by imbuing an octopus with the urge to pick the winningest noms. Therefore, I say to you, believers in that tentacled tempter, your souls are in peril and the Beast chortles as you marvel, pondering a sneaky flutter as its appendages start flopping into bin A or bin B. Turn or burn. Turn or burn.

(I must go study now.)

Oh the excitement. Mr Moat has been found and has spent the last 4 hours negotiating with the fuzz.

Except maybe it isn't Mr Moat. According to the BBC:

Police say they are negotiating with a man fitting the description of fugitive gunman Raoul Moat in Rothbury.

Fitting the description? The dude's lying down alongside a river pointing a shotgun at his head. Who else could it be? Are we to wake up in the morning and find that it was actually a Mr James Fiffleby of Rothbury who was just having a really bad day, which got a whole lot worse when a battalion of armed coppers pulled in and started getting heavy with him?

Update: bummer.

I know it's summer and all, but there are some things which just aren't done and cycling home topless is one of them. Especially if you're a dude.

The kind of quote I enjoy:

I think we've got too high an opinion of ourselves. We're not that bright an animal. We stumble along very nicely and it's amazing what we do do sometimes, but we tend to be too hubristic to notice the limitations.

I don't think I'd heard of James Lovelock before, although I'd seen reference to the Gaia theory which I thought sounded a little too Mother Earthish for me. The interview is a bit of a ramble but delightfully contrarian and blunt.

Robert Fisk: Deadly skies: The bloody truth about the Battle of Britain 70 years on. A sobering read.

Instead of pouring money into inefficient and often misguided (no matter how well-intentioned) aid projects, how about trusting impoverished people to do what they think is best for themselves and just giving them the money?

A couple of years ago, Oxfam tried the idea out in a few villages in Vietnam. Charity workers gave the equivalent of three years' wages in one go to more than 400 families. When they returned they found that poverty had dropped through the floor, with most of the money spent sensibly on food or fertilisers, seeds and cows. But older people had put some cash towards coffins, explaining that funerals were a major expense. And one group had built a communal house, to practise yoga.

Depressingly, if not unsurprisingly, a great many Grauniad commenters are not very partial to the idea.