the corner office

Light reading on the train. Some newspaper articles have a line you just have to quote. This one about a bloke who rammed his Peugot 206 into his girlfriend's house has two:

The court has heard Bruton had planned to "take out as many people as possible" after drinking a litre of antifreeze.

and

Bruton needed two week's hospital treatment after propping a garden fork between the steering wheel and his neck before the crash.

The poor chap's imagination was clearly not matched by competence. The trial continues...