the corner office

So the Royal Wedding is kicking off. Now, you know, good luck and best wishes to 'em, and I'm not going to bah humbug it all, but let's allow ourselves this much: Wedding Fever has gotten a little OTT. It's a lovely occasion but there's only so much excitement I can muster.

What might juice it up a bit is if, when everyone's in place in Westminster Abbey, and the couple are about to take their vows, it turns out that the Prince is actually the Second Coming, and He Rises Up, as the vast columns of the Abbey shudder, and the aristocrats and poets rise from their graves, and He casts His mighty Eye on the Archbishop of Canterbury, and He smites him for saying such stupid shit all the time, and then He turns to the terrified throng and says 'LATER FOR YOU, PEASANTS', and then He and Kate ascend to Heaven in a beam of light while Jimi Hendrix's Voodoo Chile (Slight Return) plays in the background.

Now that would be good TV.