the corner office

And finally this, which brightened my train ride home immensely:

If you're going to be sacked, you may as well do it this way. An employee form by Domino's Pizza is making its way around the internet.

It reads: XX "came to work intoxicated on unknown substance possibly of hallucinogenic nature. Referred to customers as bovine and porcine'. After a customer complained he told her to go straddle a narwhal, you chlorinated gene pool'. Was removed from customer service to pizza-cutting area, where he wrote messages to customers concerning the nature of pi'. He became frustrated when he could only recite pi' to the 46th digit. When told to go home, he smeared lava cake mix over his face and yelled I'm Rick James, bitch'. He was not rostered for any shift today."

The "action to be taken" is, unsurprisingly, "termination".